‘2012′ Movie Review
2012” is a glorious disaster. It is loud, obnoxiously superfluous, over-extravagant, and dumb as dirt, yet the one thing it is not, is boring. From Roland Emmerich, the overly-obsessed-with-destroying-national-monuments director, “2012” is a 158 minutes of concentrated catastrophe with overloaded everything, from the fairly impressive special effects to the horrendously hammy performances and dumbed-down dialogue.
Contrary to the film’s counterpart in explosive mindlessness and excruciating running time, “Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen”, “2012” is a two-and-a-half hour experience that is worth just that, the “experience”.
Within minutes I found myself succumbing to the stupidity, realizing that what I was witnessing was not and never would be a true “film”, instead giving into the “movie”; the guiltily entertaining draw of big booms and completely unfeasible plot points.
I could not stop laughing, and while I am not sure that this is the goal Emmerich had in mind, “2012” will only work if you check your mind at the door and ride the storm of senselessness.
Playing off the controversial Mayan prediction of global doomsday three years from now, “2012” switches between various story arcs that eventually intertwine in the movie’s exhaustingly extended finale.
There’s the political side, in which a scientist (Chiwetal Ejiofor) discovers that the end of the world is indeed near, and shares the information with a greedy sleaze ball (Oliver Platt) and the President himself (Danny Glover), all of which take appropriate action.
The other side of the film follows writer Jackson Curtis (John Cusack) as he attempts to save his children (Morgan Lily & Liam James), ex-wife (Amanda Peet) and her irritating boyfriend (Tom McCarthy) from world annihilation. They eventually team up with a Russian billionaire (Zlatko Buric), his archetypal blonde-bimbo girlfriend (Beatrice Rosen), and his twin boys (Alexandre & Philippe Haussmann), who look as if they would be more suited to haunting Jack Torrance at the Overlook Hotel.
There is also a goofy little bit with Woody Harrelson playing a screwball radio host with a scraggly beard and hairdo that seems a bit out of place, but seeing him get nailed with a fiery chunk of earth a little later on completely makes up for the confusion.
This film is simply a showcase for cinema’s ever-increasing growth in the CGI department, framed by an incorrigible premise and performances, yet the effects still remain the center of attention. The first scene of true destruction occurs in Southern California, the streets collapsing in on each other with joyous eye candy to behold.
Even more amusing is how Cusack and Co. can drive, fly, and run through all of these disasters with barely a scratch, while others simply perish in the peril.
Speaking of those who meet their end (millions), trying not to laugh at the cheesy, overplayed death sequences is a hard feat to achieve. I could not help but feel bad chuckling at the fabricated demise of others, but the medicinal healing of laughter soon expunged all guilt from my mind (which was already turned to mush by this point in the movie).
I recommend “2012” to anyone looking for a one-time experience of mindless indulgence, nothing more and nothing less. Those who view this film as a harbinger of our not-so-distant future, I hate to say it but, get a life. Object me if you will, but I will still be laughing at you in 2013.
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Among the great canon of disaster movies, this one has the most solid story. There are a few physics slips you need to accept, but that’s part of filmmaking in general. There was only one moment when the suspension of disbelief started to break down, indicating that the story, no matter how strangely built on pretend concepts, supported itself fairly well.
Yes, it’s a ride. Yes, it’s incredibly graphics-intensive. But the story… the story actually wasn’t half bad.
I’m surprised you didn’t mention the obnoxiously long, multi-modal chase scene. Starting in a car, then moving to a plane, then repeating again with a conversion van and another plane, it got old. The excitement waned when there was that much vehicular obstacle dodging in a row.
And yet another apocalyptic movie, i am really wondering where this is heading. Oh, nice blog btw